My Little Angel

I am a firm believer in the concept that people come and go from our lives for specific reasons. In that same thought I am an even bigger believer that animals are sent to our lives for also specific reasons. I've heard all sorts of amazing stories where Dogs save their owners lives and horses save the day for someone. Crazy stories but very true stories.
I had a sweet little angel sent to my life about 7 years ago. I remember in Jr. High just going through a really really hard time in my life. So many things were going wrong and I was pretty well friend less for the most part. I felt like quite the loner after stepping away from some really bad influences on my life and was trying hard to figure out who I was and what I was going to do with my life.
One Saturday a little over 7 years ago I was out running errands with my mom and we stopped off to see my dad at a park. To my happy surprise there was a lady there with a van full of Shi-Zhu puppies. I remember seeing this lighter colored chubby fur ball running around and instantly fell in love with him. As strange as it sounds I had an instant connection with this little dog. My mom fell in love with a little black and white dog so my dad a little grudgingly bought them both. I named the black and white dog Bimmer and my mom named the little light puppy Kiwi.
While both dogs loved both my mom and dad and I it was clear which dog liked who best. Bimmer was pretty well my moms dog and Kiwi was mine. Kiwi was such a sweet playful dog. I loved him so much. He was always there for me no matter what. Even when I would get mad at him, a few minutes later he'd be right back by my side trying to play with me. He knew exactly how to get me to smile and laugh.
Even if I did something wrong I could always count on my dog to be there with me. I could always talk to him, cuddle with him, tell him all my secrets. It probably sounds really weird but he was my little best friend. We'd play hide and seek out in my back yard and dance parties in my room. When people would make fun of me and I would come home in tears he would be there to just sit with me and cuddle. When people would flake out/ cancel on me after making plans with me to go do something only for me to find out that they ended up going with someone else he would be there to watch movies with me and cry.
In movies they always show the dog waiting by the mail box or the door for the kids when they come home from school. Well mine really did wait in the window of our Front room for me to come home from school. I remember him being so protective with guys. He only like a couple that I can remember and Rob was one of them. All others he would just glare/growl at. It was a big deal when he would like a boyfriend or just guy friend.
Kiwi while playful and very active was a fat puppy. My mom put him on all sorts of diets just restricting his in take of food to thin him up and they'd work but sometimes they wouldn't because I would sneak him some extra food. He loved his food. He always knew when it was breakfast time and dinner time and he always made sure to let you know it was time to feed him. The only thing he loved more than food was me and then his toys.
I remember going on all sorts of road trips in the motor home and he was so much fun to play with while traveling. We'd stare out the window and watch all sorts of movies and go on long walks. We'd run up and down the hall in the motor home. We'd eat and eat and eat. We had a lot of fun. When we got a house down in St. George for vacationing he loved that too. He loved sitting out by the pool and watching me swim. He'd hang out with me while I sat in the hot tub. He was just awesome.
He was always there through heart break. Boys and friends were one of my biggest struggles. Boys were just dumb and Friends weren't always reliable and could be really mean. Kiwi didn't care if I was a little chubby. He didn't care if I was a little awkward or didn't wear name brand clothes. He didn't judge me for the music I liked or the activities I wanted to do. He would watch any movie I wanted and he'd sit there for the whole entire thing. :)
Teenage years are hard enough to get through and no one ever gets through them unscathed. I don't know how in the world I would have dealt with them without that sweet dog in my life. I know it sounds pretty melodramatic but really he was the best little comfort.
A couple of years ago I decided to move out of my house and be out on my own. That was of course the wrong decision for all sorts of other reasons BUT Kiwi got really sick after I left. He lost a lot of weight and was a little depressed. He lost a lot of his spirit he had. I blamed myself for that change in him. I had cause a lot of familial drama and a lot of tension transpired in that time. I tried hard to go visit him a lot and finally when I moved back home after getting engaged he seemed to go back to his normal self. We had a good 6 ish months to spend some time together and I made him fat again and he was my happy Kiwi again.
I remember talking to him the night before my wedding and letting him know how much I loved him and how I would come visit him all the time and that he could come visit me whenever he wanted to. I told him that the drama wasn't over and things would still be rough but I would try hard to make things better. Silly I know but the way he stared at me let me know that everything would be okay and that he would be okay.
At the beginning of this year some things really went wrong with him. He started to go down hill again. One day my sister in law was watching Bimmer and Kiwi because my parents were having their floors refinished in their new home and the chemicals would be bad for the dogs. Christine had come home from running errands and let the dogs out and Kiwi had a seizure. When I got the call that they were rushing him to the vets office I left work immediately to go be with him. He spent days in the vets office. I've never seen something so sad. He was hooked up to IV's and just cried when you would get up to leave. It was so hard to see him like that. I would spend hours in that dingy vet office.
He bounced back a little after that and we thought we'd have him for a while. The right side of his body was really affected by the seizure. He'd fall flat on his face when walking around sometimes or trip because his leg wouldn't move. The vet put him on some pills and said he'd be alright as long as he took those and he really did start to get better. He started to be able to run around more and he started to play with his toys again and he even started to get his full appetite back... but one day he had another seizure.
My parents just couldn't do it anymore. He was struggling so much and they just wanted to do what was best for him. So my dad took him into the vet to be put down. It was really hard for me to come to terms with that decision. While I knew it was for the best I just wanted my Kiwi to come back and be here for when I had my own kids. As selfish as it was of me I just wanted him to be here and alive even if he couldn't fully walk or run.
I miss that dog every day but just before he died I think he waited for a new angel to come into my life. She's not the same kind of angel but then again I'm not going though the same trials. I believe that Kiwi was here to help me through certain trials. He was here for a short time but he did so much for me. Just like I know my new little angel Yucky will do and already has done for me.
I'm so glad too that we have Bimmer. I know he's done wonders for my mom and has been her little angel over the last 7 years. He's been such a good dog for her and he gets better with age.
I was watching Marley and Me (which of course is what inspired this post) tonight and I've tried really hard to stay away from movies like that but it was on TV and I couldn't help it. I balled and balled and balled. I really miss my dog but I know that for sure I'll be able to see him again and he's been watching over me. :) I love my little angel and know that they are everywhere. Whether it's in a friend or in your pet, they're in our lives for a reason.